Not to be

Jeff was supposed to find out if he got the job with Expedia today. They called, it's a no. They said it was that it seemed that he didn't want the job enough. I just don't really know what to say to that. Did he need to have banners and a lighted sign that says "I REALLY WANT THIS JOB!"? I can't help but think that his illness played a roll in that. He was at the height of a really nasty flu bug during his 4 interviews. I suppose it's hard to really sell yourself when you are in that state. Maybe he got some of them sick and this is payback. {heh heh} Well, I am really disheartened. I am feeling myself plunge into the depths of despair. I can't let myself though, I have to help find a way to keep this family afloat. I don't know how, but I will find a way.


I made a cool wreath this weekend. I was going to post about that, maybe later. For now I am going to go and comfort my husband some more and probably cry some more. I am so SICK of crying.

Believers and Nonbelievers

I know that my children want to believe. I think Lindsay still really does, even though there are a lot of "nay sayers" in her class. You can just tell that she really has a pure belief in Santa Claus. She just has that excitement that you can really only have when you are still a true believer.

Abbey on the other hand, I don't think she really does any more. I think either last year or the year before that was her last year. It's really hard to tell. Neither of them have come to Jeff or I and flat out asked if Santa is real or not. Abbey asked about the tooth fairy this year. She took that pretty well.

When she was three, she told us Christmas morning that Santa wasn't real and that Mommy and Daddy put out the presents. THREE!!! To young in my opinion, so we did some quick thinking and vowed to run a tighter ship in the future.

Now that Abbey is ten however, she won't just come out and ask about Santa. Everyday we have to hear about it in one way or another. I think her way of asking is to think of the hardest gift for him to deliver and see if he comes through. One year she asked for a photograph of Rudolph. Which she got I might add, with a bit of effort on my part. After the Polar Express came out, she wants a sleigh bell. She starts to obsess about it. She wont stop bringing it up.

They both also repeat what kids in their class say. Which is a huge pet peeve for me. I can understand if a child doesn't believe any more, but do they have to make it their mission that no one else does either? Abbey had kids in kindergarten telling her he wasn't real and that it was the parents. There are also the kids that don't celebrate Christmas and have never had Santa in their lives. So, ok, fine. Whatever you tell your own kids is fine. I just wish parents could try to tell them not to let the secret out of the bag for the other children. Maybe some of them do and it's just in a child's nature to correct another child's incorrect thinking.

I know that when I finally found out from my mom, I was also told not to ruin it for those that still believed. "Well of course not!" I thought. "What kind of jerk does that?" I hated it when kids in my class would say things about it so I would definitely not be part of the "nay sayers".

So, I think I need to take Abbey aside and have a talk with her. Her incessant need to talk about his realness is starting to bug Lindsay, and I think she might ruin Lindsay's potentially last year if I let her continue. I think Abbey really wants to know, but she just wont come and ask because there is a part of her that doesn't. With those of you with kids out there, how have you handled this touchy subject?

Thanksgiving, just a tidbit after all.

Well, I thought I would have pictures to show of the day and I really don't have much. I really think that is the sign of a good time. I cooked the meal with a great deal of help from my sweetheart. He is my kitchen helper every year. He and I made that pact a while ago. I was not interested in cooking such a huge meal and cleaning up after myself while I did so. So to keep me cooking the dinner that he looks forward to most during the year, he helps with anything I need to get it done! I also had my niece Alexandra be my shadow this year. I really don't mind that because I love my nieces dearly and she has always had a little piece of my heart.

I have to say the turkey was one of my best this year. The rolls turned out really great too. The pies, not my best. The gravy....let's hope I do better for Christmas. All in all I think the meal was great and I loved best of all to share it with my family.

After the dinner we gathered in the family room and we passed around a little box that had cards inside with questions on them. They would be questions about things like what your thankful for and other such things. Lindsay made it in activity days and was determined to have everybody join in. She would stand by each person to pass out a card and when they were finished she would put the card aside so as not to repeat it. She was very serious and sweet about the whole thing. I thought it was adorable. My question was 'Who in your life should you thank more often?' My answer was my children should be thanked more often. Now, I started to think of this more thoroughly and I know I could have answered that much better. I know I need to thank my parents more. They are always there for me when I need them. Always. I also should thank my Heavenly Father more. I don't know if I can ever be greatful enough, but I want to try. So, ya, just a little revision on my answer.

We even played a little American Idol afterward. Shawn really loves that game. I don't know what next year brings for us, but I am glad that this year was good. I hope I can remember it fondly, even though I don't have many pictures to help me.

Oh, and give your congratulations to my uncle Mike and family for the new addition to their family. Welcome Danee!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I have many things to be thankful for. I will probably expound on them tomorrow and have pictures to show as well. I hope all of you have a very good day and spend it being with family and friends. I want us all to remember and be thankful for what a blessed people we are to live in the best country in the entire world!

p.s. Mom, have a happy turkey day. {smirk}

Shave and a haircut, two bits!.....My foot.

I kind of took a few days off of blogging. I am really gearing up for this Thursday. I love Thanksgiving. Some of my best memories are of Thanksgiving. As a grown up, I like to think of it as the Olympics in cooking. I am excited for it. I will most likely do another post about it later. So anyway, I had parent teacher conferences at the school today. Really, not so painful this year. I usually have one that is stellar and one that I feel like I have to explain what is wrong with my child. They seem to switch every year. This year is Abbey's year to be good. Oh, and it was. She is doing really well. She has all A's and B's. She even got and "E" in P.E. That's exceeds expectations people! I did a double take at it. "In P.E. you say?" This is the child that usually gets a "N" for needs improvement. I was shocked and pleased.

Oh, Lindsay. My little Lou Lou. She is doing really good in everything except math. I don't know what went wrong. Last year she was so ahead of the curve they were thinking of putting her in an advanced class. This year, DUD. Her teacher thinks that she just needs to apply herself more and she will do better. Isn't that always the answer? What store sells apply? I know that she is very smart. Her tests and teachers tell me she is very smart, but she needs to apply herself. (Sigh) I will do what I can. What that is, I don't know yet. So a little improvement is needed there.

I am realizing that they are under more stress than usual this year. Their Dad doesn't have a job and they are worried about it. Also, if Jeff gets a job, they are worried about moving away. So maybe that could be a contributing factor. On a side note, I saw a sample of her writing and I was blown away by how good it was.

OK, so afterward I am heading to the store to get them some flash cards to bulk up on their basic math skills. I am in line getting ready to pay and Abbey wants to know if she can get her hair cut. She has been bugging me about this for quite a while. At this point I just want to pay for the cards, go home, and relax. My first answer to her is no. Then it starts. The little voice in my head. It starts telling me things like, "She might really need this for a little confidence boost" or "She did do a really good job in school so far" and also "Her hair has been looking a bit raggedy lately" I do this all the time. I really need to think it through before I just give my gut answer.

So, there is a hair cutting place in this store. I try not to ever go there. I just have a feeling that it won't end well, but I just have a feeling that it's really important for Abbey to do this. We go in. We are ignored. I walk around to find the women that work there. I let them know that someone wants them to do something other than drink coffee and talk about dancing with the stars.

Alrighty, Abbey hops up and the lady asks me if we want her hair shampooed. Since it's included you betcha I want her hair shampooed. As she's walking her back she stunned me by asking, "Do you want her hair conditioned? That's a dollar extra."
WHAT? How cheap are you to charge for conditioner? It would have served her right if I had said no! Abbey has famously snarly hair that is impossible to comb through without the aid of conditioner. I was going to say no just to make it harder for her. Yes, I really would have too, if Abbey didn't also have one of the most sensitive heads on the planet. I grudgingly agreed to be robbed of my one dollar.

The haircut went quickly(thank goodness)and she asked me what I thought. I really couldn't tell. Her hair just looked wet. I pointed this out and she informed me it would be 3 bucks if I wanted her to dry it.....uuuhh WHAAAT? Does this include you styling it or is that just you making it not dripping wet? I asked her that very question. She informed me that if I wanted it styled it would be even more, the 3 bucks is just to get it dry. I just couldn't believe this place. Are you kidding me? Not to mention that it's cold outside and probably not a good idea to send clients with wet heads out there.

At this point I just wanted to pay and go. I felt violated after I did. It's the kind of violation you feel when you are trying to turn left and you have a red arrow in your lane, a green if you go strait, with no one coming in the opposite direction and you are STUCK waiting there!

Not to forget to mention, Lindsay wanted a bang trim. I asked how much a simple children's bang trim would be, 9 dollars! That is one big reason I HATE bangs! I am really trying to convince her to go back to the good old days of no bangs. I just can't make myself pay for them to be cut right and I do a really crappy job.

I think I need to have some me time and relax.

My next post will be happier. I promise.

For we need a little Christmas, right this very minute!

This year has been a good year for our family. The last month and a half however, have been stressful and hard. Now, I know it will only get better. I have received very good advice and insight from people that are older and wiser than me and that have also gone through this. If you don't know what I am talking about, Jeff was laid off at the beginning of October. It's been scary, depressing, and disheartening. Through it though, we have become closer as a family, become closer friends, learned some great life lessons, and I think that within six months of this, we will be thankful that it happened. I believe that this will be a change for the better, I really do. I believe that Heavenly Father is watching over me, blessing me, and this is what was supposed to happen. I am feeling like I have built an even better relationship with the Lord through this process.

Now back to the tittle of this post. I felt like I needed to preface it with a bit of background. As a tradition in our family, we put up all of the Christmas stuff and go full tilt into the holiday the day after Thanksgiving. I feel that gives us enough time to really take in everything that it has to offer. I look forward to going to church each week to sing Christmas hyms and listen to Christ centered lessons. I love to make many different treats and goodies for us to eat and pass out. We also like to have a service project as a family. The girls look forward to getting a name off of a giving tree so they can buy a needy child a present. All of our family home evenings are about Christmas as well. Oh, and let's not forget the music! Every kind of Christmas music get played around here.

With all of this to look forward to in a little over a week, the waiting was getting kind of hard. Last Monday, we were finishing our family night, when Lindsay asked when we could start listening to Christmas music. I told her we could do that pretty soon. Maybe after Thanksgiving would be a good time. She just kind of smiled her little pirate smile that she has and said she would like some now. Later on in the evening, Jeff let it be known that he would like a little bit of Christmas to start early. "I just love the feeling, and I could use some of that feeling." he said. So I instantly start to hear Angela Lansbury start singing in my head:

Haul out the holly;
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again.
Fill up the stocking,
I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now.
For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute,
Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet.
Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute.
It hasn't snowed a single flurry,
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry;
So climb down the chimney;
Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen.
Slice up the fruitcake;
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough.

So, I sang that to him and he just turned and smiled at me a said, "Exactly!" That means that the DeCoursey's are doing it earlier this year folks. We have already broke out the music and made our first batch of caramel corn. I don't think we will decorate till we usualy do, but the spirit is getting strong. The girls are making their Christmas lists, drawing up plans for gingerbread houses, and watching for the giving trees to appear in the grocery store. I guess I am wondering if anyone else has felt this way this year. When do people generally start their traditions for the holidays. When does the official gauntlet drop? For our family it was the 9th of November. (I have to say I saw someones tree up already on Halloween, that's pushing it)

For we need a little music,
Need a little laughter,
Need a little singing
Ringing through the rafter,
And we need a little snappy
"Happy ever after,"
Need a little Christmas now.

All I wanted for Christmas was an EZ Bake Oven

I don't know why, but even as a child I was very interested in baking. I think it might be genetic or something. I know one of my favorite things in the world as a child, were the few times I got to have real homemade bread. It tasted better than anything else. I knew for sure you couldn't buy that taste. I was always interested in how to make cookies, cakes, breads, and cinnamon rolls. Which not to toot my own horn, I make the best I know of.

So you can imagine my delight when I saw a commercial for the EZ Bake Oven. Little pans, little oven, and big fun! You could make all sorts of things with it. I know I bothered my mom for a while about getting one. I really don't remember when I got it (Christmas, Birthday, Arbor Day ect) I'm pretty sure it was Christmas because of the story I am about to relay. I do remember the excitement however and wanting to try it out. I would constantly ask my mom if I could use it. The answer was always,"I have to help you with it so you will have to wait for me." I was incensed! The kids in the darn commercial didn't need any stinky adult lurking around to help them! I was a very capable kid. Why can't I don it my self? Well I was good and waited. Looking back now, I should have just opened it and went it alone and took the consequences after. I made the mistake of going to play at my friend Kristy's house all day. She had a yard with lots of untouched snow and we spent most the day playing in it. Before I left, my mom told me that we could do the EZ Bake when I got home. Yes! Today is going to be a great day! So after lot of playing and fun at Kristy's house I make my way home just before it gets dark. I came into the house with red cheeks, sniffley nose, and great baking expectations. Our dining room was just off to the left of the front door. What do I see on the table? My oven. Not just my oven, but all of the packages of the cakes and cookies and frosting packets open. And to my horror, the pans with baked on remnants of batter and dough, just sitting there, EMPTY! Tears sprang to my eyes. I ran to find out WHO DID THIS! I found my mom, I thought for sure she would feel as upset as I was. There would certainly be justice dealt today in the Sorenson house! I told my mom of the circumstance. Before I had even finished, she told me something along the lines of, "Well I was ready to do it, and you weren't home. We didn't know when you were coming home, so Donald and Kelly did them."......TRAITOR! THIEVES! RUINER'S OF CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! I was full on crying and spittin' mad at this point. I did try to look on the bright side, there might be some left for me to eat. So I asked where the rest of the goodies were. Then my mom let me know that they had eaten them all and that I didn't miss out on much, they weren't that good. Oh, sadness and bitterness filled my little heart. I was so disgusted over the incident that I didn't want anything else to do with the oven. Not that I really could do much anyway. The mixes were gone, but so was my desire.

(I want you to know though, I have been through this with my mom and she has since apologized and I have forgiven her. I know that experience has made me a more sensitive mother to my children's feelings and things. So, good things can come from bad things.)

Well, it wasn't until quite a few years later. I think I was 11 or 12 and it was Thanksgiving time. My mom was making pies for Thanksgiving. I think my mom makes wonderful pies. She does a great pie crust. Anyway, she was making an apple pie. She had some left over crust she was about to throw away. I asked if I could have it. I told her I wanted to make a pie too, with the EZ bake. She didn't mind, so I fashioned a pie pan out of foil, peeled and sliced some apples, and she told me how much cinnamon and other such spices to use. I don't remember if I miss heard her, or if I just thought it needed more, but that little apple pie had a LOT of cinnamon. I showed it to my mom and she told I should probably start over. I was confident it was going to be great! I took my little pie up to my room and popped it in my little oven. It took forever. At least an hour and a half.
This pie wasn't just for anybody. This pie was for my mom's dad. My Grandpa Brinkerhoff. I think out of pity for her father, she tried to get me to throw it away. I was determined that he was going to love it and thank me profusely for making such a flavorful pie. After dinner, I presented him with his pie. He was very thankful and told me how delicious it looked. Now, I don't remember if he ate it strait or if he put ice cream on it, but he ate it! All of it. He told me it was delicious. Even with my mom telling him that he didn't have to eat it. He probably said something like,"Oh Susan, don't be silly. Of course I am going to eat this delicious pie Heidi made me." That little moment of triumph for me, really encouraged me to pursue my love and interest in baking again. My husband is very great full as well.

Now, guess what Abbey and Lindsay want for Christmas this year. Yup. EZ Bake Oven.