Tuesday, May 5, 2009

This is pretty

I have been kind of down for a while. I haven't been doing my diet very well. I am stressed out that Jeff can't find a job. I'm worried that we are going to need to sell our house soon and everything that goes with that. It's just been hard to even want to get out of bed in the morning some days.

I feel the heavy weight of Earthly things pressing me down. Sometimes it's so much pressure, I feel like I can't breath.

I'm glad they're just material things. I will always have Jeff. I will always have Abbey. I will always have Lindsay. Most important of all, I will always have my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ.

That should be enough to help me through anything...I just need to keep reminding myself.

So anyway, I am looking at things today that give me joy and peace. I read blogs {to think about someone else life for a few minutes} and I'm looking for things that are pretty and pleasing.

This is one of my favorite paintings. It's painted by Vincent Van Gogh. It's called Almond Branches in Bloom. I want it to hang in my room. It just has such a softness and movement that really appeals to me. I love the color choices too. I love how the branch would at first appear to be dead and lifeless, but then you see the buds flowering all over it's mangled looking frame. The blue background pops out at you and makes you remember sunny yesterdays.
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.


Lisa said...

Heidi, your strength is inspiring. I pray that soon all of this will be a distant memory and that Jeff will find a job to support your family.

I love that picture and I am glad that you shared it. I don't think that I have seen that one before.

Smiles :)

BTW....Donald is planning on taking Friday off so that Alexandra can still go to school. And he'll just keep Lorelai with him. However, Elisabeth and I will still stop by after her appointment :)

Brooke said...

Heidi, thank you for your honesty. I love the quote at the end of the post... I think I will be printing that out and carrying it around with me.

I have a little meltdown about once a week from the pressures of raising the kids, keeping up the house, being gone three days a week, feeling like a sub-par wife, and then all the stinkin' homework. I also like to escape by reading about other people's lives via blogs. I think it keeps me feeling normal.

Praying a job comes to Jeff soon and thank you for the photo- I'm with Lisa, I don't think I've seen that one ever before. I love the aqua blue color!

David said...

i love van gogh, i even recommended a movie about him on my blog, remember? But i have never seen this picture. very cool!

you'll be at disneyland when?

i thought jeff found a job that he completed training for?

debsters said...

That is a very beautiful painting. I thought I was familar with most of Van Gogh's paintings, but I hadn't seen that one. You are keeping the right perspective. It's only natural to worry, but you will be taken care of. The Savior's love and compassion will see to that, you only have to be open to it and take time to feel it.

Stephanie said...

Dave and I have experienced many layoffs in the past 30 years. The longest 11 months. I can tell you that although things never turned out the way I planned Heavenly Father always made sure we survived. I at 53 no longer own a home. (Forced retirement three years ago) So we sold our condo.
Athough this may seem sad it does not speak of all the miracles.
WE got to keep our medical insurance for $120 a month. (especially important because our daughter has spina bifida) Dave get a small retirement . Our condo sold three years ago in one day for full price and for $30,000 more than anyone had sold for before. the miracles were numerous. So although things may not turn out the way you would plan I can promise Heavenly Father will take care of you and your dear family. (I should tell you I too still experience depression to this day. I wish I had money to help others. I wish I had a home.
I wish I was healthy. So I am thankful Heavenly Father loves me even if I get down despite his hand in my life. Bless your hearts and bless Your dear husband with a job asap.

libbie said...

I'm so sorry. You do have a good attitude though, and I LOVE the picture.

SuzanSayz said...

This was a really beautiful post Sweetheart. I know how much you are struggling with all life has thrown at you and Jeff right now. I just feel sure though that things will work out somehow. You know that dad and I will help out where we can. I'm also going to try and remember to send Lindsay's nintendo DS up with Lisa next week. Or is it this week? I think it is. Well it will be sent.

Cindy Brinkerhoff said...

Heidi - Bummer day huh? Things will get better. In my experience these situations are what grow us and strengthen relationships as you learn to depend on each other.

The picture is beautiful- oh an I finally found and washed your clothes! They are going in the mail today :)

amycolbert said...

Hang in there. It seems the Lord tests us until we feel like we are going to fall off the edge and then he catches us. It will be okay. You certainly know Steve and I have our financial struggles but it always turns out ok.

Jeanette said...

I haven't posted in a while for the same reasons. Down over unemployement. It has been a yo-yo and a rollercoaster ride so far. I am glad you are counting the blessings. For me, it helps get through the day.

I love the picture.

Amy J. said...

That is such a pretty piece of art and I am glad that it gives you a moment of peace. Aren't you glad that at hard times we are never alone. I know that as you go through this stinky point in your life many many prayers are going out in your families behalf!

LKP said...

wow hun, i had no idea! you guys are in my prayers tonight for sure! things will work out, that's all there is to it. when a door is shut, Heavenly Father opens a window. try and stay up. BIGGEST HUGS EVER!!!!

Kristin said...

I've had a week like that too. Sometimes things just seem overwhelming, but then other days the big things don't seem so bad. My brother did finally get a job after 2 years of unemployment. I got my thyroid adjusted and I'm finally losing weight again. I hope things pick up for you too.

Lou Lou Land Extraordinaire said...

Thats a really pretty painting mommy.I like it a lot.love:LouLou