Thursday, December 4, 2008

Believers and Nonbelievers

I know that my children want to believe. I think Lindsay still really does, even though there are a lot of "nay sayers" in her class. You can just tell that she really has a pure belief in Santa Claus. She just has that excitement that you can really only have when you are still a true believer.

Abbey on the other hand, I don't think she really does any more. I think either last year or the year before that was her last year. It's really hard to tell. Neither of them have come to Jeff or I and flat out asked if Santa is real or not. Abbey asked about the tooth fairy this year. She took that pretty well.

When she was three, she told us Christmas morning that Santa wasn't real and that Mommy and Daddy put out the presents. THREE!!! To young in my opinion, so we did some quick thinking and vowed to run a tighter ship in the future.

Now that Abbey is ten however, she won't just come out and ask about Santa. Everyday we have to hear about it in one way or another. I think her way of asking is to think of the hardest gift for him to deliver and see if he comes through. One year she asked for a photograph of Rudolph. Which she got I might add, with a bit of effort on my part. After the Polar Express came out, she wants a sleigh bell. She starts to obsess about it. She wont stop bringing it up.

They both also repeat what kids in their class say. Which is a huge pet peeve for me. I can understand if a child doesn't believe any more, but do they have to make it their mission that no one else does either? Abbey had kids in kindergarten telling her he wasn't real and that it was the parents. There are also the kids that don't celebrate Christmas and have never had Santa in their lives. So, ok, fine. Whatever you tell your own kids is fine. I just wish parents could try to tell them not to let the secret out of the bag for the other children. Maybe some of them do and it's just in a child's nature to correct another child's incorrect thinking.

I know that when I finally found out from my mom, I was also told not to ruin it for those that still believed. "Well of course not!" I thought. "What kind of jerk does that?" I hated it when kids in my class would say things about it so I would definitely not be part of the "nay sayers".

So, I think I need to take Abbey aside and have a talk with her. Her incessant need to talk about his realness is starting to bug Lindsay, and I think she might ruin Lindsay's potentially last year if I let her continue. I think Abbey really wants to know, but she just wont come and ask because there is a part of her that doesn't. With those of you with kids out there, how have you handled this touchy subject?


Lisa said...

I am afraid that Alexandra is going to hear someone at school this year say that Santa isn't real. So far she completely believes....except for those reindeer :)

I do think it's a good idea to let Abbey in on the 'big secret'. I will probably make her feel important and grown up for knowing something that the 'little kids' don't. Hopefully she'll take it OK.

Em and Ms said...

I totally agree about the other kids ruining it for the ones who still believe. My dad just told us when we stopped believing in Santa he stopped bringing presents! I still believe...

Jan said...

Been there heard this too. Mattie still believes because I do. So it is all in perspective. She may doubt the whole thing inside, but refuses to agree he isn't real to anyone of her friends. Even though they don't. It is a sad thing to hear though.

SuzanSayz said...

This is a tough one. I think (of course we have already discussed this) that Abbey knows the truth. It's just that you still can cling to that one little shred of belief until your parents confirm it for you. You are a pretty wise mom Heidi and I'm sure you will come up with a good solution. Hopefully one that will save Lindsay's belief while helping Abbey with the anxiety she seems to be feeling amid all of this.

Jeanette said...

I am so struggling with this! My two oldest are 10 and 9. After my 2 yr old was born, at Easter time, I told them the Easter bunny wasn't real. I had had a really bad week and Easter snuck up on me and they woke to no hidden eggs. So, I told them. Instantly, both realized that Santa wasn't real. Both had had their doubts and took the news fine. My sister has boys the same age as my girls and we are neighbors. She would kill me if my kids told her kids about Santa. Okay, so this brings me to my struggle. Last year, Christmas was about Christ and not Santa. I hadn't changed anything, but they had. Their wish list wasn't a mile long, but truely things they wanted. They thought of others more, and they thought of the birth of our Saviour. I now have two little boys (2 and almost 1) and wonder what I will say about Santa for them. I love the mystery of Santa and the majic of him, but in today's commercialized day-I can't afford him anymore. The lists were so long and they would have been upset if their favorite item wasn't there. After all, they are good kids. Why didn't Santa get them their gift? Plus, we lost the spirit of Christmas with Santa...Okay, this is too long. Short question-how do I keep the feeling of CHRISTmas that we felt last year (and this) AND Santa?

Being a mom can be so tricky can't it?

Jeanette said...

Oh, I love your background & thanks for dropping by my blog.

dani said...

katherine (btw, you asked... she will celebrate her sweet 16 on thursday) started not to really believe in the 4th grade. i told her that santa only comes to the homes of those who believe and welcome him. it seems like she gave me one of her cute smirks and went on about her business.
then, on Christmas eve that year my parents were in town and staying at our house. she and i went to bed in her bed. my dad went out the back door and onto the deck. when he did. the glare from the door shone the perfect image of santa's sleigh!!! honest to goodness!!! can you believe it???
i looked over at katherine whose eyes were the size of silver dollars. she quickly shut her eyes and went to sleep.
lol, she was a true believer from then until a friend of mine totally outed the secret in front of her 2 or 3 years later.