Since we live in a backwood kind of area, her house would be considered in the middle of nowhere. Ah, but how peaceful it is to live in the middle of nowhere. I brought my big book of Jane Austen, I'm halfway done with Sense and Sensibility. They have a really nice living room with large windows and a very comfortable couch. The good life.
Her dad has dementia. She gave me some instruction on how to handle it. She also wanted it to seem to him, that I wasn't there to watch him. More like he was going to watch me. I was just there to get a break from home and come relax at theirs. During my visit, he wondered when my parents were coming to get me.
The first day I was there we talked almost the whole time. I think I get the gift of conversation from my Dad. He can, if he chooses, be very personable and chatty. :) When the lady had gotten home, she let me know that she was going to have me come more often and that she was going to pay me. So, now I get to hang out with a really nice gentleman and get some spending/bill money too. The next time I came, he was more interested in walking around the house. Not very talkative that day I guess. I got to read my book though.
The reason I bring up the age issue is this, I turned 30 last year. I am going to be 31 this year. Now I think that's a pretty good age. Not too old, not very young. Yet I wonder what age I need to be to get some stature. For the lack of a better word, some respect. The reason I'm think about that is, when I was leaving, she was talking to her dad about me, yet at me too. She had remarked that I was just a young little thing. I kind of smiled. I thought to myself, 'I am always going to be looked at as young by someone.' Not really a bad thing I suppose. It's an interesting thought. To her father, everybody is just a young little thing. So maybe stature/respectable, is just another one of those myths you think exist, only to find out your never going to reach it.
I think back to what Paula Dean said on one of her shows, she was hoping that someday she would be a woman of substance. In my perspective I think she is, but to her she is still aspiring to the peak of maturity. Well, when do we start being looked at as just another adult and not just a young little thing? I hope to one day be a woman of substance as well, but will that not come until I am am past my 60's? Just wondering.
6 comments:
Those are some very deep thoughts Heidi. Now that I'm in my early fifties, I have pretty much come to the conclusion that no matter how other people may see us, we can only be ourselves. And for some reason we usually still see ourselves as not too different from how we've always been. But the interesting thing is that I know I'm a lot more grown up than I was 10, 20 or 30 years ago. I have grown past the stage of wanting to keep up with everyone else. I don't really care that I'm driving a five year old car, or that I'm still over weight, or that my soon to be twenty seven year old son still lives at home. My life is my life, and I no longer feel the need to make excuses for it. I don't know if I will ever be considered a "Woman of Substance" I think there are some people who do see me that way, and others who probably think I'm not important at all. The thing though that pleases me, is that I no longer care all that much.
It is funny though how people in their twenties and thirties do seem quite young to me now.
We are always younger than someone in their eyes. I am shocked when someone says- oh, your still young. It is so weird. But you may not enjoy it as much now, but there will come a time when you will.
What a pleasant read btw.
I did a post with you in mind too.
Great post. And it happens to be something that I have been thinking about lately too. I mean, I am going to be 30 next year...yet I don't feel quite like a grown up yet. when does that happen? Does it ever happen?
I also notice (like you are saying) that some people at church treat me like a 'little young thing' and I don't think they take me as YW pres. very seriously. I am constantly being offered advice and being 'looked after' so to speak, by certain individuals in the ward. IT DRIVES ME NUTS! I cam capable, now let me be. Let me be an adult, please, because (I think) I am one.
Ah, you young things! At 40 your body starts to fall apart (even if you have taken care of it)and when you wake up in the morning and hurt all over, you feel old. Sometimes I get so tired of being responsible for my kids and my Mom I wish I could be young and have no responsibilities. I'm tired of being a grown up. But on the upside, I'm mentally healthier than I've ever been, so I guess there are trade-offs.
I'm not very good at expressing my thoughts like you are, but I have thought those things before. I was excited to turn 30 thinking that maybe I'd be viewed as a more mature person. Ya, still waiting for that to happen :). You're awesome no matter how "old" you are :).
You'll always be old to your kids! I live in a college town and can't tell the college kids from the high school kids! I remember when the college kids were the "big kids".
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